previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons
Are you ready buddy? Are you ready? Today's the day.
What are we doing today?
We're gonna steal Lord Neverember's ledger.
Yeah, that sounds like a terrible idea.
I make my way back to the Fallen Tower.
It's you again. How are you?
I'm excited for, I guess it's my first day of school to an extent.
I think I'm like maybe gonna help save the world.
I have a calling. I'm looking for some people. I think you might be one of them.
What makes you say that?
I don't know, Moot. I just have a feeling about you.
You're gonna take your things, sneak on in there. You're gonna grab a ledger.
I go to the desk.
And inside is a ledger matching the description. With that you hear a noise.
Three figures. They see you, they turn to you, and they draw weapons.
Oh shit!
What are you doing here?
You see Merv and the other person go through the portal.
I'm headed to the first bar I see.
You come face to face with a dragonborn.
For the love of Pete, you're big.
You are a little bit smaller than me though. I just got here.
Well, tell me about your travels.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
We're a D&D 5th edition actual play podcast.
And I'm your dungeon master Russ More.
And with me today is Amy More.
Yeah, it's true. I'm married to this guy and I like to mouth the words as he says them.
Which totally bugs him.
And I play Sullivan Slyte.
Also with me, Tom Laird.
Hey, that's me. I just sit quietly until Russ is done.
Unless I'm trying to interrupt him saying, fuck it, let's play D&D.
Then I pounce like a goddamn Bengal tiger.
And I play Moot.
And with us today, Carla Johnson.
I'm just like free and easy. I don't have a plan about how I'm going to irritate Russ.
But I do know I'm always going to do it.
I play Glim.
Guaranteed annoyance just all around.
Irritation.
Comes with the package.
In fun and exciting new ways every time we play.
Every time it's something different.
You're welcome.
Thank you.
If you'd like to give Tom, Amy, and Carla ways to irritate me, which they haven't already figured out,
you can probably do that over on Patreon.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
We're always looking for new ideas.
Always looking like outside the box ideas.
None of this just normal interrupt me stuff.
If you want me to put water in Russ's seat before he sits down, just make it a little damp.
If you want me to consume some sort of snack.
You're taking away all of their thunder here.
Could you slide an ice cube down his back while we're recording?
I could. You want to see this table flip?
I could release moths in the room.
Oh, moths.
Oh, yes. Russ has a deep fear of moths.
It's the day all characters die.
Oh, no.
Oh, no. Not our character, our level ones.
You think that's a threat for me, Russ?
Yeah, right?
Yeah, really, Russ.
I'm not even attached to this character yet.
Yeah. The goal.
The goal is just to make everybody make as many characters as possible before season two is over.
Yeah.
And when you are a patron, speaking of which, you have an episode dedicated to you.
And today's episode is dedicated to Dylan Powell.
Thanks, Dylan.
Hey, thanks, Dylan.
Dill.
Thanks, Dylan.
I wonder if anyone calls...
Do people call you Dill?
Yeah, I'm wondering.
I was like, Dill.
I just did.
And I'm like, I have a pot full of Dill out on my porch.
Not the human.
That's a good clarification.
Good to clarify. Good to clarify.
We won't murder you and put you in a pot if you're a patron.
We'll just dedicate an episode to you.
I'm going to edit that out of the podcast.
That's probably for the best.
And just Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
All the ways that you can irritate Russ.
Just send them on over there.
We'd love to hear them.
Fuck it. Let's play D&D.
Moot.
Yeah.
We find you.
You had followed Gabriel from the Fallen Tower.
Unknown direction at first, but he has led you to an open field by the riverside.
Okay.
So you are standing in the middle of this field and he says, okay, you stand there.
And then he starts walking away from you a little ways.
Does he load no van down by the river?
I would assume as much.
I really think so.
He's like, you stay here.
And he's just going home.
You wait here.
I'll be back.
He seems like a very transient fellow.
There's no van in sight.
Doesn't mean there's not one, just not one in sight.
He walks about 50 paces from you and turns around.
And as he holds a tankard of ale in his hand and takes a big swig, says, all right, well, we're going to start your training, I guess.
Okay.
What do we do?
Well, I brought you here.
Because we're really close to you like to freeze stuff, don't you?
I mean, that's just kind of the things that have happened so far.
Yeah.
Okay.
Good.
So I brought you here because there's water.
Oh, for freezing.
That makes sense.
For freezing.
See, you're catching on already.
So what we're going to do is you're going to try and just feel it all out.
What's the it in this scenario?
What is it I'm feeling?
Did we talk about wild magic, you and I?
I mean, you kind of grumbled drunkenly about some stuff, but I didn't really catch too much.
Okay.
Wild magic.
It's all around you.
And you, my young sorcerer friend, have the ability to just pluck it from thin air.
So whether you know how to do that or not, that's something we'll obviously have to get to.
But we're going to figure out, A, how you can get to do that in a consistent manner.
And once we figure that out, then it should just be easy peasy for you to just sling like sharp frozen objects at people or things.
Don't hurt people.
Yeah, I don't really want to hurt people.
That's kind of why I want to get this under control.
Yeah, yeah.
That sounds like a really good idea.
Okay.
So close your eyes.
Okay.
Close your eyes and think about the last time that it happened really, really good.
Oh, so when we were in the bar the other day.
Now, was that really, really good or did that ruin my beer?
Well, from my point of view, it seemed really good because I actually managed to do it, albeit a little too well.
Potato potato, I guess.
I mean, does anyone actually say potato?
I met a guy once.
Really? What was his name?
Potato.
Oh, his name was Potato.
Got you there.
Yeah, I mean, story checks out.
I mean, it takes all types.
Should I still have my eyes closed?
What's happening here?
No, keep your eyes closed, bud.
You're fine.
You hear him drinking heavily from his glass.
I don't know where that was tankered from.
Is he like Silent Bob but with like, did he use the beer?
It's like, where did you even?
He had it with him when he left.
He just took it with him as a road beer.
Focus really hard on a better time when it happened.
If you want to use the ruined beer, that's totally fine.
But see if you can't pull that same inspiration.
Now, Tom, I'm going to get you to describe
what Moot is thinking or feeling or saying
as you are trying to do this and then roll me a d20.
Okay, Moot is thinking about the incident in the bar from the other night
because he was super stoked about how it went.
Like, he wasn't sure he was going to be able to do anything.
And then the fact that he ruined his beer because his magic was too good
is like, he's still kind of strutting around because of that.
So he thinks about that feeling of success that he had
when he was trying to cast this magic.
And he thinks about how he can just kind of almost reach out and touch it.
Like, he knows it's right there.
Should I roll now?
Yes.
Any bonuses or straight up?
Use your spell casting modifier.
Okay, 16.
You are reaching out to where you think metaphorically or physically.
I mean, kind of both because he's new at this.
Cool.
So you begin reaching out and Gabriel is standing back just kind of watching you.
And what he sees and what you begin to feel is a shift in the air.
The temperature around you specifically and out a little ways begins to drop.
And you begin to feel the same power that came in surges both in the bar
and when your family was being attacked by the cult and in the headmistress's office.
Those quick surges of something that you weren't sure what they were.
You begin to feel that this might be what everybody's talking about in Wild Magic.
Gabriel sees this and feels the shift in the air as well.
What is it that Moot casts in this moment?
Moot casts the spell frostbite.
So describe to me what it looks like as he casts frostbite.
Technically, it's supposed to be cast on a person,
but I'm going to cast it on just like the body of water that's nearby.
Sure.
So as Moot reaches out towards the water right at the edge where the water meets the land,
you see like a cold frost starting to spread out along the water.
And it gets a couple feet into the body of the water and then kind of peters out,
but maintains around the edge.
And there's kind of a thin sheet of frost and ice on top of the water.
You open your eyes as you feel like you're doing something.
And you see this frost stretching out into the water and down on the ground around you.
And as soon as you focus on it, it snaps back and like sucks in towards you and disappears.
Gabriel, did you see it?
Yeah, yeah, no.
Definitely saw it.
Hey, he begins to walk over to you.
He says, what had that feel for you when you were doing it?
I mean, it felt really good.
It felt like I don't know.
I felt like an energy around.
It was so close I could just reach out and touch it.
And it felt amazing when I did.
I think we need to find you a something to channel your energy,
what they call an arcane focus.
Oh, is it is that something that we need to like track down or buy or?
No, no.
Well, I mean, you could.
Generally speaking, it's something that has some pretty high value to you.
Personally, terribly or like sentimentally sentimentally more than anything, I think.
Takes another big drink.
Oh, you have anything on you that might fit?
Yeah, I think I might have something before I left home.
I I I borrowed something of my mom's kind of a keepsake to remember her by.
OK, OK, what's that?
I reach into my little messenger style bag and I pull out a feather necklace.
It's quite simple in its look.
There's about five feathers on it.
The middle one is quite a large feather, doesn't even know what bird it's from.
The other ones are eagle and falcon and all sorts of other feathers in this really large middle feather.
But it doesn't look like much to the eye, but it means a lot to him.
That yeah, that might work.
Let's try it again.
He spins around and he starts walking back in the other direction.
I'll take it personally.
I just don't want to get frosted.
OK, do I what do I do with this?
Do I wear it?
Do I hold it in my hands?
I mean, do what feels natural.
You could put it behind your ear if you want to.
But I mean, you seem to be using your hands to cast everything.
So maybe try holding on to it and seeing, you know, close your eyes again,
focus and try and take that energy and put it into the item that you hold into your mother's necklace.
OK, so Moot kind of takes the necklace and kind of loops it around his fist.
Once or twice all the feathers are kind of going down his wrists.
And he holds out his arm and he touches the wild magic that he got before.
And what happens to us?
Does he succeed? Does he?
You feel the energy course into you and you feel it transferred down and to the feather.
You open your eyes at that moment, almost with a fear that you might ruin it.
But when you look at it, you see a glow.
You see almost a silverish blue aura to it and you feel it resonating in your hand.
Are you going to cast the same spell or are you going to do something different?
You know what? Let's do something different.
It's going to be Ice Knife.
What are you aiming for with an Ice Knife?
Because there's an attack roll that comes along with that as well.
Are there any, like, stumps or anything nearby?
Yeah, yeah. We'll say there's a couple full trees and a couple stumps, whichever you prefer.
I'm going to go for the stump.
OK.
So that is, with the plus five, an eighteen.
As you open your eyes and you see this, you feel like you can throw this energy.
And you do so.
Yeah, I see this kind of blue, silver, I mean, ball of energy, for lack of a better term,
kind of start to spread out in his hand.
And it looks not like a traditional throwing knife, but like maybe one of those double-bladed throwing knives.
You know, those really cool ones.
Like two pronged or like both sides?
Like both sides.
OK.
Mood sees this in his hand and kind of thought comes to him that he should throw it.
So he throws this ice shard towards the stump that's near Gabriel.
I mean, not too close to him.
How close is the stump to Gabriel?
Like ten feet to his right.
OK.
The knife flies from your hand, soaring in the direction of Gabriel and this stump.
And it strikes deep into the stump and explodes, shooting shards of ice out.
And Gabriel kind of jumps back and spills his beer all over himself.
Looks at his drink and looks at you and says, well, you ruined another drink.
I mean, maybe we just maybe we just shouldn't be drinking while we do this.
Are you the teacher or the student?
I mean, student.
But if you if I keep ruining your beers, I don't think that's going to be great for either one of us.
He begins walking towards you and goes to drink from his cup, which is pretty much empty.
So he just kind of looks at it and shakes it.
And he says, what you did there is you you pulled the wild magic from the very air itself.
You, sir, with some practice are going to be very successful.
That's awesome.
It's very awesome.
Don't throw knives at me anymore.
I mean, it wasn't really at you.
I just I didn't know it was going to explode.
I'm sorry.
When was how many knives have you thrown in your life?
How sure were you that you weren't going to hit me?
Well, I mean, we used to throw them on the farm a little bit, but I just didn't know it was going to explode.
I've never thrown a knife that exploded before.
He turns around and begins walking away, throwing his his drink to the ground or his empty cup to the ground again.
Last we saw Sully and Glim, they had met outside a tavern nearest Castle Never.
I'm going to say that we're still in that tavern.
So we're a little bit earlier in the day with Moot right now.
Later in the day with Sully and Glim.
We'll kind of catch up as we go through here.
But so what are Sully and Glim up to as the door closes behind you and you are now in this tavern?
It's a rather busy night.
There's many tables that are filled.
But as Glim was kind of on her way out, there is a table still that she perhaps was sitting at that is that is vacant with a couple chairs at it.
Feel like want to grab a seat or something?
Want to grab some food?
I could go for some food.
Well, I'll join you for a drink.
Great.
You sit down at the table and a waitress comes over and she says,
You're back again and you brought a new friend.
I'm back.
I made a friend and I thought I'll have another drink.
Why not?
That's what everybody says.
Why not?
Indeed.
You know this waitress to be Vex Lana.
She says, well, what can I get you?
Well, I'll have another pint of ale.
Vex Lana.
Thanks.
I look into my coin purse and see that there's nothing there.
Why don't you let me get the first round?
Oh, that's so kind of you.
So kind of you.
Thank you.
I will have an ale as well.
A little, little short, you know, paydays.
She's coming right up.
On the way.
And then she walks away to go get those for me.
So when we met, Sully was clearly like...
Shifty as fuck.
Yes.
Right?
I'm remembering that correctly.
Yeah.
So your initial view of Sully was perhaps he was panicked.
Might not be the right word, but...
Definitely.
Definitely some shifty eyes.
You saw a book in his satchel that judging by his demeanor, judging a book by its
cover, looked like it might be a little bit out of place.
And he perhaps was like looking over his shoulder.
Right.
Also weren't their bells tolling?
Yeah.
The alarm bells were going at Castle Never.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
And you saw...
He saw me coming from that direction.
Guards and various police running towards Castle Never in the opposite direction of
the way he was coming.
Right.
Okay.
That is what I thought.
So are you from around here?
Oh, no.
No, not me.
Nope.
Just passing through.
You know how you just find yourself in these kind of places.
Oh.
Well, no, not really.
I've never really just found myself in a place.
I've either stayed somewhere by choice or chosen a destination and gone there.
You're telling me you've never been drugged in the middle of the woods and then shown
up in a city you'd never been to before?
Oh, uh, no.
I can definitively say I have never done that.
Is that...
Huh.
How...
You were in the woods and then you just woke up here?
Oh.
Well, that...
You know.
I'm sure it happens to a lot of people.
So tell me your story.
You're a big, shiny dragon lady.
Dexlana comes back and puts the drinks down in front of you and says,
Can I get you anything else?
Oh, thank you, my dear.
Thank you.
Are you hungry?
Well, I could eat.
Why don't we get some nachos for the table?
I love nachos.
But they're for you.
I'm trying to, you know...
Sure.
You're trying to what, Carla?
Pander to my poor person who...
I'm trying to not make it obvious that I am trying to buy you food,
because I think you will be too proud to just accept it.
She says, uh, yeah, one round of special...
Special...
Whatever night this is...
Table nachos coming up.
Special night table nachos.
Those are my favorite.
Those are the best.
So, since you've never really been anywhere, dragon lady,
like, what are you doing here?
Oh, well, I am on a mission to save the world.
I'm drinking my beer at this point, and I'm like...
I'm sorry.
Save the world?
Yes, I know.
From what?
Well, I mean, right now it seems like Tiamat is the main threat to the world.
You'd have to agree, right?
I mean, this cult of the dragon is just running roughshod over all of Faerun,
and everything is just going absolutely crazy,
and I'm a follower of Vahamet, so obviously Tiamat and the cult of the dragon
are my natural enemies.
I'm against them, of course.
Yeah, for sure.
Who's not against all them?
Of course, right?
All good people are, I think, against the cult of the dragon.
Of course.
Well, you know.
So I'm not sure...
It takes all kinds, right?
So good ale, right?
So you're Neverwinter to save the world because things are going down here?
Are people coming here?
Is the cult of the dragon coming here?
Did you hear anything?
What have you heard?
Are they coming here?
Do you have some secret information?
I'm just super curious.
I'm a little bit nosy.
Vex'lana comes back and lays a plate of nachos,
which we're going to invent here within this world,
which are thickly sliced potatoes that are fried up.
There looks to be a very curd-y cheese on top,
and strips of kind of an oily black meat on top,
as well as some various vegetables.
Sully starts stress-eating immediately.
You like the eel, do you?
Oh, yeah.
It's super good.
It's straight to my hips.
I just can't help myself.
All right.
Well, call if you need anything.
Chew.
Watson.
So tell me everything you know.
So to answer your question, no.
I don't know anything about the cult of the dragon coming here.
My own personal mission in saving the world
requires me to find help from two individuals.
So that's what's brought me to Neverwinter.
And then after I leave here,
I'll have to go and declare myself to Bahamad.
And there's a lot of steps to saving the world
I didn't really realize before I was trying to do it.
There's a lot of travel, a lot of things you need to do.
The hardest part of saving the world is the commute.
Always.
No, I totally get it.
You know what?
And I'm really sorry I can't help you out
because I don't know anybody in this city.
I told you.
I just kind of like am visiting short time.
Term.
Short term.
Short term for a short time.
Actually, I'm on my way out.
Tonight's my last night here.
Oh.
Oh, that's too bad.
I had so enjoyed meeting you.
Where's your next stop?
Oh, you too.
Well, I got to find my buddy Merv.
I'm not entirely sure where he is.
Oh.
Um, where did you last see him?
In the woods before you came here?
Or here in Neverwinter?
Oh, here in Neverwinter.
Yeah, no.
You know, we met when I arrived
and we just bonded immediately
over some really stressful circumstances
and then he just like kind of whipped into a portal
like one does.
And so I'm just gonna search for him.
You know, Sully, your life is very different than mine.
I've never fallen asleep in the woods
and woken up somewhere else
and I don't know I've ever even seen a portal.
Oh, just big swirly,
makes a mess of everything around it.
It's overrated.
Steals friends.
Huh.
And are you gonna go try and find a portal
to find Merv?
Maybe.
You know, everywhere I go,
I seem to find a friend who might be able to help me
because, I mean, you can't just go and just find a portal.
You gotta know somebody, you know?
Both of you make a perception check
because you're sitting around.
Seventeen.
Oh, I'm a fucking minus one.
Level one characters, my dude.
That's weird.
Fourteen.
Both of you notice as you're discussing
very different lives.
Some people come in to the tavern.
Glim, especially, you see that
they're wearing very official guard armor
and they are coming in,
trying to be as quiet as possible,
but begin coming into the room.
There's three of them and they kind of fan out
and they're just kind of walking around
looking at people
and kind of overlooking tables as they walk in.
Gotta take a whiz, Sully.
Sully slides down from the, what I assume,
chair that's taller than he's comfortable
and starts to meander to the bathroom area.
Do you take your bag with you?
I absolutely do.
I never took my bag off.
That tracks.
Well, I'm just gonna keep my eye on those guards
because I do kind of suspect that they're, you know,
looking for my new friend.
Sure.
I'm slipping, I'm going in the way of the bathroom
and I'm slipping out, slipping through the window.
Okay.
You see your friend Sully move towards the bathroom
and the guards themselves
are continuing to go table to table.
One of them satisfied that the other two
are kind of taking the room,
begins to walk back towards the bathroom as well
for no particular reason.
Probably has to take a whiz.
That's going around.
Is he, yeah.
Is he near me?
Yeah, we'll say he's passing,
he's like a table away from where you are,
so he's walking past you nowish.
Okay, so I'm gonna kind of like
look towards the bathroom and then look back at this guy
and say like, excuse me, sir.
He kind of takes another step
and then stops and turns and says,
what can I help you with?
I was just wondering who you're looking for.
I've been here most of the night, maybe I could help.
There was a robbery at Castle Never
and you see him scrutinizing you
and something quite valuable was taken.
So we're looking for an individual
who might be in possession of that.
Oh, what'd they take?
Was it, wait, can I guess?
Was it the crown jewels?
No, no, it was not the crown jewels.
Was it a precious fur stole
that belonged to the lady of the castle?
No, no.
Like birth certificate?
You said you were here all night?
This keeps going on.
What's going on, Sully?
You make it back to the bathroom.
I go through the very small window they have.
I jimmy it open.
There's no window.
That Neven Rolte fell dead on a one.
Boom.
There never was a window
and there's never gonna be a window, baby.
Windows don't exist in this world for you.
Paved it over, which is weird
because paving goes on the ground, not on the wall.
I open up my bag
and I take out the contraband
and I take, want something waterproof
that I have in my bag.
We might have like a water skin or something.
Yeah, that would work.
I do.
I quickly cut it open.
It's a very big water skin
and I wrap it, the ledger, tightly within it
and then I slide it in a toilet tank.
Like, yeah, I'm trying to water-brush a toilet in this world.
Nope, nope, we don't.
I was thinking it was more of a pit situation.
We've got what's called a hole in the ground.
Maybe with a board over it or something.
I never really thought about the insides of the tavern bathers.
What if there's just like a communal hand-washing sink
and maybe the water's real gross
because everybody's been using it to wash their hands
and you could just put that in that dirty water.
More of a trough, yeah.
Well, it's better than the hole in the ground, Amy.
It's certainly better than the hole in the ground.
Yep, it is.
So I slip it and it is concealed
under the water in the communal hand-washing trough.
As soon as you do so, the door behind you opens.
And I start to wash my hands.
But like nonchAlydintly, I'm not whistling or anything.
Not like how you just did it.
No, much sneakier.
Just washing my hands in here by myself.
Definitely not hiding anything in the sink here in the dirty water.
You turn and you see just another, not one of the guards,
but just another patron walk in
and see you quickly rush and put your hands in the water.
You're all right?
Yeah, you know when you wipe, but you miss a little.
He silently keeps walking towards the stall.
Good luck with that.
Thanks.
You know what I'm talking about, though, buddy.
Yeah.
Don't pretend you don't.
So he walks into the stall.
All I want to talk about right now
is what the inside of this bathroom looks like.
Right?
I know.
I'm obsessed.
There's stalls now and like, OK, I can kind of picture it,
but like, oh, it's incredible.
I've never really delved into the sanitation situation in Faerun.
It's probably real dirty.
Well, it's almost certainly horrifyingly gross.
There's no fine water, so it...
It's, you know, it's as clean as clean can get.
I wonder if they have magic clears.
It is near Castle Never,
so it's not like you're in the slum part of town.
There's just only so much that can be done
in a place without running water.
New podcast idea.
We designed fantasy bathrooms, kitchens, houses.
I love it.
I like it.
Flip this fantasy house.
Welcome back to the middle.
We had a contest running on...
It ended on June 30th,
and we gave it away at the beginning of July there,
but we haven't really been back
because there was a bonus episode last week,
so we just want to say congratulations
to William Rhino Henderson.
Congratulations, William.
William.
Congratulations and a huge thank you to you
and to everybody else who participated
by sharing a link to the show
or to your favorite episode on Facebook or Twitter.
We will be doing another contest very soon-ish
that you can participate in there
and hopefully win something really cool
because William, he won the adventure module
Ghosts of Saltmarsh,
and we still have one more
that we want to give away too,
so just keep locked here.
That's what radio people say.
No, keep it locked here.
Listen to all the episodes on repeat
and then start again.
Yep, that's right.
You got it.
Speaking of things that we have going on
that we're super proud about,
we are up for nomination
for the 14th annual People's Choice Podcast Awards.
Ooh.
I totally knew this was a thing before Russ told me.
It's all right.
I just assume that nobody knows anything
until I tell them.
Yeah, fair enough.
I mean, you've been proven that time and time again.
In this company, that is a safe assumption.
So how you can help us win that
is by going to podcastawards.com.
Click on the Nominations Now Open button.
All you have to do to be able to vote in that
is give them your name and email address.
And after the nominations are all done,
they say they purge it from their system
and no longer hold on to it.
So I'm going to take them at their word
because, you know, why not?
Russ, what was that website again?
Podcastawards.com.
Click on the Nominations Now Open.
But all you got to do is vote for us
in the games and hobbies
and the People's Choice.
We would love it if you could do that.
That would just make our hearts all warm and fuzzy
because then if we win, we get an award.
And we like, we've never received an award
for the podcast before.
Oh, it'd be so cool.
It'd be amazing.
Russ said there's a trophy.
There is a trophy.
Oh, God, I love it.
We'll have to share custody of the trophy.
Just mail it around?
Yeah.
We'll lose more money mailing it around
than we'll gain anywhere else.
But I think it'll be worth it,
at least for the first couple months.
We'll be so proud.
Yeah, absolutely.
So if you've already voted,
I know some people in our Discord already voted.
Thank you very much.
If you haven't voted, please do.
I mean, even if it's not for us,
we would really appreciate it if it's for us.
But if you see somebody else on there
that you think is better,
then vote for them.
Oh, yeah, that's totally fair game.
14th Annual People's Choice Podcast Awards.
Podcastawards.com.
I'll link it down in the description
so that you can click right there
and just enter in your info
and toss us a vote.
We'd really appreciate it
because you're all beautiful people
and we love you so very much.
True, agreed.
Yeah.
In the meantime,
while you're doing that,
I'm going to give you
the back half of this episode.
If you don't do that,
the episode mysteriously stops.
Oh no.
Whoa.
Oh.
I don't know how I'm going to do that.
I'll figure it out.
That's why you're the tech guy.
We're in trouble.
Alright, hope you enjoy
the rest of the episode.
Next week is a new episode.
We kind of stopped telling you
when things are coming
because we kind of forgot.
New episode comes out next week,
next Wednesday, July 17th.
Hope you enjoy it.
We'll talk to you soon.
Up above, you see
blood red clouds
boiling across the sky.
I hear that you're only
about to go on an adventure.
You know how Amy likes
to have me running around
worrying about things.
You see armies at your back,
dwarven, elven, human.
You see all the races
under your command
and you wickedly smile
back at yourself.
We can do this the easy way
or we can do this the hard way.
And you see this light
being shattered
into seven different pieces.
It's not worth the risk.
Just say it's part of
my inquisitive nature.
I have been following you
for a very long time.
Do you want to count down?
Three, two, one.
Now.
And you feel the ball
drop out from beneath you.
The Lucky Die podcast
is a weekly 5E Dumbgeons and Dragons
actual play podcast.
Join our adventure
every Monday
wherever you download podcasts
by searching for The Lucky Die.
Moot, you and Gabriel
are walking out of the field.
You've been practicing
slinging various spells all day.
We'll say you probably
haven't cast Mage Hand
or Magic Missile
but all of your
frost-based stuff.
We'll say that you have
practiced.
You're feeling pretty good
about it at this point.
So you two are
walking back through the street,
presumably headed back
towards the Fallen Tower.
So you're sticking around
for some time?
What's your plan?
I mean, short of learning
how to cast this magic
and make sure I don't
hurt anyone with it,
how long do you think
I should stick around for?
Seemed like we had
a good day today.
It was a pretty good day.
I mean, we can definitely
do that again.
I feel like, you know,
there's some extra stuff
that you could be doing.
Okay, I did have
some questions.
Yeah, sure, shoot.
Okay, so it's called
wild magic.
What's wild about it?
It's an energy source
that is tapped into
and has come to our world
through various rifts
or tears with other worlds.
Oh.
And not everybody has
the ability to feel that energy.
And those that can,
we call them sorcerers.
They have a very specific
magic set and they use
that magic to cast spells
that, for people of this world,
would otherwise have to
study in order to,
say, using incantations
or somatic abilities
and he moves his hands
and light begins to glow
and he puts it out.
Oh, so over at Nogwoods,
that's why they have
all the books and things there.
Got it, got it, got it.
Exactly, yeah.
So as much as you yourself
can get into that,
if you so desire,
your powers will grow naturally
as you begin to hone
and perfect the spells
and abilities that you currently have.
Is there a way to, like,
improve my training
or is it all just like,
do I just have to put in the reps?
I mean, you just kind of got to,
you just kind of got to do it.
You got to feel it.
You got to just feel it
kind of course through your veins.
Moot takes out a little notepad
and he writes,
feel it and then do it.
Aw, that's so cute.
You like to keep notes.
It's good, it's good.
Well, I just find at the end of the day,
I can kind of look over
everything that happened
and then I remember it a lot better.
Sure, no, that totally makes sense.
I myself used to write a lot of things down.
I don't, I don't so much anymore.
But I'm glad you found me.
Where, where are you staying, kid?
I'm actually, they gave me a room over at Nogwoods.
They said I could stay there for the time being.
Just indefinitely?
No charge?
I don't think it's like an open invitation
to stay forever, but, you know,
for the time being they said,
yeah, you know, when I tracked you down
and all this stuff, they just said,
yeah, you can stay here.
So I thought it was really nice of them.
Interesting.
All right.
Well, good, milk it for all it's worth
because they're cheapskates over there.
What do you mean?
Well, I mean, they're going to
probably start charging you.
So just watch if they start slipping
like bills underneath your,
underneath your door.
Start getting you to do odd jobs.
That's payment.
Oh, I don't mind doing odd jobs.
That's fine.
Fair enough.
I mean, it's good to work.
It's good to work.
Can't always live in a van
down by river.
Don't know what you're talking about.
Shall we go?
Shall we go get a get a drink?
Do you drink?
I don't know if I've actually
seen you drink.
Yeah.
I partake every every once in a while.
It's I mean, it's not really my thing
yet, but I think at some point
I'll I'll I'll enjoy it a lot more.
But yeah, let's let's go.
Cool.
All right.
Well, I haven't had a drink
in the last four hours
because you ruined my last one.
We'll go do that.
I promise not to ruin any beer this time.
I'll ruin something of yours.
Oh, he said I wouldn't.
I'm just letting you know.
Oh, OK.
You guys begin to walk back
and you make it back
to the Fallen Tower
and it's just starting to get
busy at this moment.
It's getting to be dusk.
And we cut back to Glim
who is talking to the guard still
and the guard looks defeated.
Like he he knows he can't walk away
because you're you're engaging
in the investigation that he's doing.
But he's like, I just
I just want to go is the look
you have he has in his eyes.
Doesn't matter.
Just let me die.
Is it a small figurine
that the Lord's mother-in-law
gave him as a test to see
if he would pass it on to his daughter?
But then he lost it.
But then he found it.
And now he's worried
that it got stolen.
He slams his hand down on the desk.
It's a book.
Oh, a book.
It's a book.
A precious book.
Fairly precious.
And who do you think took it?
He kind of looks around
sees that the other guards
aren't really finding
what they're looking for.
He says there was an individual
who was seen selling linens
at Castle Never
with a friend went in
came out without the friend
and the alarm started going off
prior to that.
Short fellow.
I've been told he talks a lot.
Have you seen anybody like that?
I don't think I've seen a linen seller.
What's Sully doing in the bathroom?
Still vigorously washing his hands
until this dude leaves.
I'm going to say this dude is coming,
he's come and gone
and he's looked at you
still washing your hands
and actually just leaves the water alone
he's like, I'm good.
Not cool, man.
Not cool.
Cleanliness is next to godliness, you know.
I'll go wash him next door
and he leaves.
That's really weird about him
washing his hands.
Alright.
I draw a mustache on myself.
With what?
With my little stinker disguise kit.
With my, well, naturally
as a person who
fools people a lot
I must have
I must have a disguise kit.
Not must have.
Hold on.
Do you have expensive linens
you could change into?
No, it'll be so suspicious.
Because I don't want to pass as a linenery.
I forgot about the linens.
Me too.
I don't know how.
Still a word.
So funny.
I swear to god as I made this
I had
I put down disguise kit.
Well now I'm just real sad.
Maybe you had it
and it was taken from you
as you were in jail.
Well now I can't quite remember
what I told her that I would have.
I have an oil flask
that won't do anything.
Anyway.
Well, if you say you had a disguise kit
we can say you have a disguise kit
which has a marker in it
or a pen in it or something.
It sure does.
A grease pencil or something.
Or just a mustache.
And I put a mustache on
and I come out.
Okay.
I guess I'm still talking to this guard.
Yeah, you're at this point
just discussing the fact that it's a book
and he's giving you the description
of the linenist.
And you hear the bathroom door open
and out of the corner of your eye
you see Sully begin to walk out.
And you see Glim talking to the guard.
Very intently at this point
because he's just like
shut her up for who knows how long.
I give a little tip of my invisible hat
and I mosey on the fuck out of there.
Make a...
Mosey check.
Roll for mosey.
Make a stealth check.
Fuck me.
Twelve.
You quite cockily begin to mosey out thinking
you have the greatest disguise of all time.
Is she like twirling it as she was?
I am, yeah.
I'm like doing finger guns at people as I leave.
You're about halfway to the door
so you're now kind of passing
where Glim and the guard are
and you hear from behind you
one of the other guards yell,
There he is!
I turn and like to look behind me
to be like,
like, where? Who?
You see two guards rushing towards you.
I still look behind me.
Like, where is he?
There's ten feet away from you.
And then I look and I point my finger at me
and I mouth.
They are at you now and...
Hey buddies!
They grab you by the shoulders
and say you're coming with us.
Hold on a second. Why?
Because you were one of the last people
in Castle Never.
I have never once been to Castle Never.
Make a perception check.
Six.
What am I perceiving?
You look up at the guards
and you now notice that one of them
is one of the guards that you talked to
going into Castle Never.
Cool.
He says, You were there.
I was not!
He reaches down and pulls off your mustache
and says, You were there.
I smacked my hand.
You were trying to sell linens.
Who sells linens?
You!
What do you even call somebody who sells linens?
You're coming with us and they begin to...
Hold on. Is this because I'm short?
They're walking and they...
Both of them have picked you up by the armpits.
And I'm bicycling.
My leg's in the air.
Glim, what are you doing?
The guard says, Well, it looks like we might have found
the person we're looking for.
Glim!
Hey!
Yeah?
Don't forget to wash your hands.
Okay. It was nice to meet you.
I wave goodbye.
I thought you said that you didn't see someone of...
I said I didn't see a linenist.
I didn't know that he was a linenist.
Touché.
Might we ask you to come with us as well
just to confirm that you aren't associated?
I mean, you can ask Vex'lana.
I was here all afternoon.
Vex'lana comes, sees this happening.
She comes over.
She was here all night.
That one, he came in most recently
and just kind of stopped and turned Glim around.
Yeah, she was here.
The guard kind of thinks about it and says,
All right, okay.
He turns around and he goes to walk it.
I am going to go wash my hands.
I assume he said it significantly.
Well, actually, it's just something he reminds people to do.
He's like, All right, buddies.
Yeah, yeah, keep it tight.
Keep it tight.
Hey, wash your hands.
So you go back into the bathroom.
I presume you go into the male bathroom,
but I'm not certain if that's what you're going with.
Are they gendered, do you think, in the tavern?
Nah, probably not.
Again, there's so much for us to talk about about these bathrooms.
Let's say unisex.
Sure.
Okay, so I go into the bathroom.
And you see the hand washing trough, several stalls,
all of which have their doors slightly open.
It doesn't look like there's anybody currently in there right now.
I guess I go, and like trepidatiously,
it's so dirty, it's really gross.
It's not for washing hands.
It's really gross.
It's really gross, yeah.
But I'll just stick my hand in there, see what I find.
You reach in and you find a water skin
that looks like it's been cut open
and kind of very hastily folded back over
with a feel of a book on the inside.
So I pull it out and put it,
well, I mean, I do this a lot
to try and get some of the water off of it
and pull it out of the water skin
and shove it in my bag.
I don't investigate it any more than that.
It's definitely the book that you saw in Sully's bag.
And you slide it in.
And then, we'll cut back to Sully here.
You're being walked down by three or two of them
carrying you kind of underneath the arm.
Am I heavy?
Is your arm getting tired?
They're not responding to you.
And one of them leans down to you
and says, Miss Man Meow Meow
is not going to be very happy about this.
Oh, Miss Man Meow Meow has nothing to worry about.
Mm-hmm.
It's supposed to be a quiet chat.
Well, it was.
Until someone portaled in there and stole Murph.
Mm-hmm.
Was that you?
Did I portal in there and steal Murph?
No, I mean, did Miss Man Meow Meow do that?
Why would Miss Man Meow Meow
portal in and steal a prisoner of her own?
I don't know.
But that was, you have to say,
extenuating circumstances, for sure.
Yeah, you can explain to her
why you didn't go back with the book
to explain that to her once we get back.
It's called laying low, God.
We now find Moot.
Not Sullivan's Light. Get out of here.
No, I know, but I just went
at the same time as you were talking.
Do you want to say that again?
I mean, you do it all the time.
Shame.
Yeah, good.
Should probably get Amy one of those Hannibal Lecter masks.
It's your turn to talk now, Amy.
He says,
Hit me with your best shot.
Fire away.
Ice, ice, baby.
Oh, wow, we're just jumping all over the place here.
Well, because it's not really fire
that you've got going on.
It's ice. So, you know,
you're as cold as ice.
This is going to be a fun one.
You're right. Oh, boy.
Oh, misses wildly.
It's very, very
stump has really good AC,
really good AC that stump
and uncanny dodge, which is
unexpected. Can we recruit
this stump to help us save the world?
Because we might need them.